Actually in Mandarin they are really literally called "ear shit" and "eye shit" (耳屎 & 眼屎) Just an amusing point
Then how about this!!The "shit" in the name makes it sound twice as nasty.Ear cleaning is supposed to be romantic event between a man and a woman....just sounds terrible with "shit" in there.You know, words like "ear shit" and "eye shit"...
Normally known as "ear wax" and "eye mucus". But for this joke to work just pretend they're called "ear shit" and "eye shit".Huh?