A cheerful little tune about a five-year-old pyromaniac who burns his grandma to death and hospitalizes his mother twice by playing with fire.

Finland has the best "children's" songs.

budoka_azathoth said:

A cheerful little tune about a five-year-old pyromaniac who burns his grandma to death and hospitalizes his mother twice by playing with fire.

The song ends with his parents locking him in his room and burning down the house while he's sleeping.

Finland has the best "children's" songs.

Holy fucking shit.
And I thought the US were weird for having children books were people get infested with worms.

FRien said:

Holy fucking shit.
And I thought the US were weird for having children books were people get infested with worms.

Or this disturbing Struwwelpeter book from germany.

lampenpam said:

Or this disturbing Struwwelpeter book from germany.

Values dissonance at its finest (or worst, you pick).

It's the same reason we can't stomach youkai eating humans, especially when they look like cute girls.

lampenpam said:

Or this disturbing Struwwelpeter book from germany.

What's Struwwelpeter? The german equivalent of Tailypot?

FRien said:

What's Struwwelpeter? The german equivalent of Tailypot?

I don't know who/what Tailypot is, but Struwwelpeter is a collection of (illustrated) short stories meant to teach children to behave properly by vastly exaggerating the consequences of misbehaviour.
Examples include a thumb-sucker having them cut off, a girl playing with fire and burning to ash, and a child refusing to eat his soup and starving.That last one was repeatedly quoted to me and my brothers (we're from Germany) because none of us liked to eat soup (and we actually still don't) See here. The german wikipedia page has the pictures as well.

FRien said:

What's Struwwelpeter? The german equivalent of Tailypot?

This.

It's a somewhat popular children's book in Finland, too. My parents were (and still are) quite fond of the story of the kid who wouldn't stop sucking his thumbs and had them cut off by a tailor with giant-ass scissors.

The song isn't actually meant for children, but it's made in a parody of children's song style and... You know how kids love violent songs? I knew a couple of good Teletubbies theme parodies and AFAIK Barney the dinosaur is very often brutally murdered in playground lyrics.

EDIT: Curse Bless you Eterya and your ninja powers!

Hmmp hmpph huddahmm hmmph.

When I was in elementary school in second grade towards the end of the school year my teacher read the class this short picture book about a little clay creature made by an old man. The clay thing was hungry so it ate the man and his wife and pretty much everything else imaginable throughout the course of the book and he kept growing bigger the more he ate. It was freaky.

And they call these things "childrens" stuff. The teacher got fired the next school year actually. Wonder why...

Meanwhile, absolutely no one lift an eyebrow about a children's story about two children, lost in a forest, who burn a cannibalistic which to her death in her own oven...

3 days and no one mentioned one of finest pieces of russians' madness (no offense intended).

In my childhood (199Xs) there was popular so called "Sadistic Lil' Poems"("Садистские стишки") - cultural phenomenon in 70s-90s (USSR-exUSSR). Contents similar to "Struwwelpeter" and contains flagrant non-compliance with the safety rules of communication with reality and ends with death or severe body damage.
Unlike "Struwwelpeter" often there wasn't any morale in the end or actual behave teaching - just dry grotesque and guro. Of course they exaggerated, but inspiration by "that reality" showed well. Yes, black humor at it's finest was popular within schoolchildren. Since "hard times" is over ('till late 90s) those poems became unpopular due to more "safe" today environment.
Good explaination of poems' origin peacefully rests here.

Unfortunately, Youtube no longer has the Fullmetal Alchemist AMV version of the song. When the part "mom went to horpital" is sung, the video shows the bald and huge Alex Louis Armstrong in a hospital bed.

The Beatles's Maxwell's Silver Hammer has a very happy and for-children tune as well. About a serial killer.

Here's one good "dark" song from Finland, too. Musta Enkeli, "The Black Angel" by Tuomari Nurmio(Tuomari= judge). It's about a kid's birthday party, which is suddenly interrupted by the black angel, which kidnaps the birthday hero and soon everything's out of control(mom screaming to the janitor and kids crying and dad babbling something incomprehensive to the cops ^^) Am I weird for actually digging this?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c3AmK4Y6RcE

Unfortunately, I'm going to sleep now, so If Budoka-san or someone else from Team Finland could provide a translation of the juiciest bits? Of course, once I get up tomorrow, I might put my fingers on it, too.

Kintoki said:

Here's one good "dark" song from Finland, too. Musta Enkeli, "The Black Angel" by Tuomari Nurmio(Tuomari= judge). It's about a kid's birthday party, which is suddenly interrupted by the black angel, which kidnaps the birthday hero and soon everything's out of control(mom screaming to the janitor and kids crying and dad babbling something incomprehensive to the cops ^^) Am I weird for actually digging this?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c3AmK4Y6RcE

Unfortunately, I'm going to sleep now, so If Budoka-san or someone else from Team Finland could provide a translation of the juiciest bits? Of course, once I get up tomorrow, I might put my fingers on it, too.

I like that song, too. Not to mention pretty much everything else by Hande. I love how the chorus goes in the tune of that "nyeah-nyeah-nyeah-nyeah nyeaaa nyeaaa!" everyone knows from playgrounds.

I sacrificed some of the literal meaning to get a bit of the rhyme and meter in.

I find this slight hilarious in hindsight considering that Futo and Mokou befriended each other in Urban Legend in Limbo. Not enough though to add it to the pool. Especially for an old post like this.