Resized to 85% of original (view original)
Artist's commentary
Done.
Hello, hello?
Um, I actually worked in that office before you. I'm finishing up my last week now, as a matter of fact -- gotta resign due to 'personal reasons' and all. So, I know it can be a bit overwhelming, but I'm here to tell you there's nothing to worry about. You'll do fine! So, let's just focus on getting you through your first week, okay?
Uh, let's see, first there's an "introductory greeting" from the Admiralty that I'm supposed to read. Uh, it's kind of a "procedure" thing, you know. Well, here goes!
"Welcome to Kantai Collection!
A magical place for grown-ups, where fantasy and fun come to life. The Admiralty is not responsible for damage to property or person. Upon discovering that damage or death has occurred, a missing person report will be filed within 90 days, or as soon as the carpets and/or possible evidence has been 'dealt' with..."
Blah blah blah, now, that might sound bad, I know, but there's really nothing to worry about. Uh, the ship girls here do get a bit quirky at night, but do I blame them? No! If I were forced to fight those same impossi... stupid battles for twenty years and I never got a bath (docking) in the end? I'd probably be a bit irritable at night too. So, remember, these ships hold a special place in the hearts of men and we need to show them a little respect. Okay?
So, just be aware, the girls do tend to wander around a bit. Uh they're left in some kind of free-roaming mode. Uh... something about their servos locking up if they don't get to move for too long. Uh, they used to be allowed to walk around during the day too, but then there was The Bite of '87...
...Yeah. I-It's amazing that the human body can live without the frontal lobe, you know?
Anyways, now, concerning your safety, the only real risk to you as an admiral, if any, is the fact that these girls, uh, if they happen to see you at port, they probably won't recognize you as a person.
They'll p-most likely see you as a metal endoskeleton without its uniform on.
Now since it's against base regulations for ship girls to leave their endoskeleton exposed to view, they'll probably try to...forcefully stuff you inside a base regulation uniform. With the rigging and everything. Um, now, that wouldn't be so bad if the riggings themselves weren't filled with crossbeams, wires, and other moving bits.
...Especially around the facial (bridge) area. So, you could imagine how having your head forcefully pressed inside one of those could cause a bit of discomfort...and death. Uh, the only parts of you that would likely see the light of day again would be your eyeballs and teeth when they pop out the front of the bridge area, heh.
Y-Yeah, they don't tell you these things when you sign up... But hey, cheer up! First day should be a breeze, especially after you've heard this message. I'll chat with you tomorrow.
Uh, check those cameras, and remember to close the doors only if absolutely necessary. Gotta conserve power. Alright, good luck, and good night.
--
...and I'm finally finished with the draft. That took a while.
You guys have to wait a while before I finish another request!
I'll get the samples up in a few days... look forward to it!
TL Note
Not an exact translation, as the original is a reference to Phone Guy's recorded message on Night 1 of Five Nights at Freddy's.