Today is Chinese New Year. I tried to draw something happy for it but it felt too forced and after a few failed attempts, I realized it’s because it’s hard to feel happy when I miss my family. My grandparents raised me when my parents weren’t present. My parents were emotionally abusive which took years of therapy to recover from, so my grandparents are more like my real parents.

The thought of family during the holidays has always been so bittersweet. The nostalgic memories of loneliness and longing. Some years I celebrate the holiday, some years it hurts to think about.