just imagine waking up every day knowing, without a shadow of doubt, that life hates you. And since you're a creature created and sustained by belief, suicide just isn't applicable to you. You're stuck in that kind of existence for whatever the lifespan of a god is with no way to improve it because anything and everything you will ever do is guaranteed to fail. You know the only actions in life you can consciously take are those that will inevitably make yourself and others more miserable. And you know that nothing and no one will ever be able to change that. It's like being forced to live in your own personal hell. With what little happiness that you can feel being happiness you've at some point stolen from others, willingly or otherwise.
I can't imagine her being anything other than completely dead inside. I wouldn't know how else anyone could bear that kind of life.